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24 April 2016 @ 04:04 am
That's Not My Name!  

I was homeless for a few weeks. Homeless; LOL Arent we "apartmentless"? Home ownership is a long way from the shelter. I kept a journal. Wrote about my 'roomies'. So amazing. Some held a sense of despar that even their god couldnt remove. One dude tried to hang himself. He wasnt good at it or he wouldnt have returned to tell about it. That was the way of life there. Hopelessness.
I resorted to begging. not for smokes or money. For a place to stay. I did sexual favs for it too. Hell, Dee was 63 years old.

I'll admit it: I screwed up. I wouldnt stop drinking. After burying Dad and Aunt and Grandma all in one year; I broke, I didnt feel anything  when I was stoned. I didnt want to. Lived in a few towns and kept getting accused of different things "Steve! I know you stole that 300 bucks (that I DIDNT) or "Steve, you are gonna steal frome me, Steve!!!" "I worry about you, Steve." "Did you drink or drug today, Steve?"

My fam wants nothing to do with me and....fuck them. When they needed "Steve", "Steve" was there. BRB

Ok, back. One of my roomies cant sleep. "You ok, Steve?" Ugh. That damn name again! I couldnt sleep either (side note: watching Batman V Superman last night was a waste of time better spent jumping off a bridge). Model; 21 years old; half naked: a CHILD.

I'm asexual now. Told my counsellor so. Yes, I look. Just...look. Me. "Steve". Me the biggest flirt everz. "Steven, (I hate being called that even more than Steve) you have to decide what you want" "What is it you want?"

Comfort.

It's what everyone wants.

If whatever form it takes.

Love from a SO, a child, awesome onion rings....

Annnnd....I get lonely.....BRB

Cat tossed a furball. LOL Where was I? Ah... lonely. It doesnt happen as often as it should. It's like laying there drowning and then comes the self-loathing. "You deserve this Steven".
Ok on to my point. Now that dad and grandma have passed on, I am not welcome as a Zabel anymore. Annnd I always said I would change my name once they were gone. I do and have always hate my name. 'Steve' "Steven". Hate it. I will pick my own. I looked up what I have to do and how much it will cost.

I know what my new name will be, but for shity giggles, what would you recomend? Francis McHousenstein? LOL




 
 
location: Among friends
mood: depresseddepressed
music: amything but Prince
 
 
 
eyesonstars: Suzy chickeyesonstars on April 29th, 2016 10:27 pm (UTC)
Being homeless is a tough gig.

My tips for name change?
Think playground--avoid names like Bart, Peter, Dick, Pee-Wee and the like.
Stick to easier to spell names or you'll be forever spelling your name for legal papers and appointments or having to deal with misspelled versions of your name. Like Myke instead of Mike or Cyndee vs Cindy.
Never Ever Ever use the names Wayne or Jesse. Why? They're the top two most common names criminals have. Even as a middle name. Other names are way, way behind as far as commonest name of criminals.
zombie2000: tee hee heezombie2000 on May 2nd, 2016 11:34 am (UTC)
Not sure if he's still alive, but I had a relative named Pee-Wee. That wasn't a nickname either. Goofy as that is, when someone asked "Have you seen Pee-Wee in a while?", nobody ever responded with "Which Pee-Wee? Pee-Wee Zabel, Pee-Wee Smith, or Pee-Wee Jones?" LOL
eyesonstars: grinning monkeyseyesonstars on May 7th, 2016 05:52 pm (UTC)
What parent would actually choose Pee-Wee as a christian name? But then again like you said it makes for a unique name that can't be confused with someone else in the neighborhood.
When I hear Pee-Wee, I usually think of either the baseballer Pee-Wee Reese or Pee-Wee Herman of the Playhouse show.